The Triple Threat

For those thinking about it, Mark and I are all H1N1 juiced up. We have been told being pregnant, immuno compromized or living in Vancouver puts you at the highest risk. We score points in every category! I was half expecting someone to show up at our place on Monday morning to poke us. Never happened. In the end Mark had his shots on Monday and I had mine yesterday, as long as we avoid the germs for the next week to ten days we will be in the clear. Since this started, I've never washed my hands so much in my life so I am not too worried.
Mark is doing alright this round, tough start but he seems to be coming around. He has discovered that sleeping through the more miserable days is the best strategy, and he is very committed to that. He slept about 16-18 hours on Tuesday and Wednesday. I'm bored, but agree it is the best way to avoid the bad parts.
We are hoping to get home to Whitehorse next week. It will be great to have a taste of winter, see the animals and take part in some R&R Yukon style. Not too much news to report, just enjoyed our best week off from treatment and we're feeling good.
I am short of photos so will include this image Mark's brother Shawn (who is visiting right now) sent us.

That's me on the right!

More good news

Where to begin? The past two weeks has seen us soaring back to great heights. Meg's last update filled you in on the new member of our team, Finley, and in addition to this great event, we also got a few other pieces of good news. Firstly, I've been feeling great since my last treatment. Our time in hospital was much easier for round four. Some anti-nausea medication helped me eat a lot better, and since getting out, my appetite has returned to pre-treatment levels. While still in hospital, I got a call from the coordinator of the Natural Resources Law Enforcement college program I took last year at Fleming College in Ontario. His name is Mark, and he let me know that this year's class had organized a fundraising "Smash It" pub in honour of Meg and I. I don't know if most of you remember what it was like to be in college or university, but I do, and the amount of money they raised was especially impressive considering the usually minor amount of wiggle room in the average student's budget. A silent auction and the sale of "Smash it" T-shirts helped raise the funds. Cheers.

NRLE Pub at Fleming College

Our doctor provided us with some information during the last treatment that we took with cautious optimism. My latest MRI shows that all of my smaller tumours are now "Unmeasurable". The chemo seems to be doing its job. The larger tumour that was operated on when this all began now measures at 1.2 cm. Without a comparable MRI to compare this latest one to, it's hard to say what exactly is happening to this tumour, but we're hoping that it's going the way of the others. My next MRI is scheduled for November 9th, and we'll be able to compare the images to my most recent scan. Keep your fingers crossed for us.

Another piece of great news that we received last week came from up North. I got a call from the Yukon Department of Environment offering me a Conservation Officer position based out of Whitehorse. I interviewed for this position when we were back home a few weeks ago. It's a term position that will last seven months, and they'd like me to start sometime in the new year, whenever my treatments are finished and I feel ready to go back to work. This is a job that I've been working towards for the last few years, and I feel extremely lucky and grateful that it's worked out the way it has. I'll need to see all of your fishing licenses please.

The past week has been a great balance of activity and rest. After getting out of hospital, we settled back into the apartment for a couple of days before picking up our friend Shawn from the airport and heading out to do some fishing on the beautiful Vedder River, about an hour from Vancouver. It felt amazingly good to walk on some uneven ground, get a little wet, and focus on something as simple as a foam float for the day. No salmon were to be had, and rain blew out the river making it unfishable on our second day, but getting out of town, good company, and our second dose of real fall made it a trip to remember. Meg and I said goodbye to Shawn on Friday, and I got the chance to watch the Leafs and Canucks play here in Vancouver with an old friend of my brother's on Saturday. Who knew that Vancouverites hated Toronto so much?

 

Shawn in pursuit of Coho

Meg's eye on her float

Nice legs, buddy. . .

Maybe it's the rain. Our day today was spent watching it teem down outside our apartment, catching up on some sleep, and getting back in touch with family and friends (we're doing our best!). My brother Shawn arrives on Monday and will be here to help us out during treatment number five. Thank goodness for family and friends. Our hope is to make one last visit to Whitehorse next week before Meg's pregnancy hits the magic 36-week-no-fly mark. Then it's the homestretch for both of us. Both Meg and the baby are doing great. The little one keeps kicking it's morse code messages of love. I'm halfway there folks - thanks for all of your continued support.

Add one more to the list of supporters

It has been a great week around these parts. We have had a lot of cause for celebration which we sure like to do. Firstly my sister Brianna gave birth to the third in her brood - a 9 pound baby boy named Finley Markus (the Markus part comes from his two uncle Marks - one of which you are all acquainted with). Here he is . . .

Finley Markus Holt

I am hoping to best Brianna's time of 4 hours birth start to finish. Is that naive? Also, doesn't he look a bit like a Doozer from Fraggle Rock? Mark and I are pretty proud Aunts and Uncles and to prove this, we thought we might show you some photos of the four other nieces and nephews we have. I know this may not be what you come here for but please indulge me - some Mark news is to follow.

Callum Holt (on his first day of school this fall)

Maren Holt (she's 2.5 years old and full of spunk)

Avery Adkins (she's 3.75 years old, bright and fun)

McKinley Adkins (he's almost 2, he's fun and tough and will bite you if you are not careful)

The four of them

Now, back to life in Vancouver. We were discharged from hospital on Monday following the week in / week out routine. Round four of chemo was much, much better then the previous round which I was more than excited about. We were bracing ourselves for the cumulative effect of chemo because that seemed to be the track we were on, each round much worse than the last. This pattern changed drastically in round four where Mark had one bad day and the rest were alright. He even ate food! Seamus (our latest man-servant/guest) was great at cooking for us and bringing us any and everything we needed and wanted. We noticed Mark is tending towards the bland, beige foods, some of his favourites were Finnish pancakes (hi Lakehead folks), perogies, and chicken soup. We were able to do walks everyday and his nausea and fatigue while present were not non-stop. Since being out of the hospital we have been out and about in Vancouver - even going to a movie last night.

Our good friend Shawn is on his way here from Dawson City today to take Mark fishing this week to some 'secret BC fishing holes'. I may join in too, but it will be weather, fishing wader, and fishing rod dependent. Either way, a trip out of town will be fantastic and good for the mind and body. That's all I've got for now. Hope everyone is well, thanks for checking in and keeping in touch.

My brother Seamus and our friends' (Dave and Jenn) little girl Sadie

Round 4

Seamus here, long time reader, first time blogger. I have flown in from the UK to give Mark and Meghan a hand during chemo round four. I arrived just in time for Thanksgiving and luckily Mark had turned a corner on the day of my arrival, feeling much better after a tough round three. We had a nice Thanksgiving dinner but I'm not too sure about "Thanksgiving", I could think of a few other terms but this is a family blog so I won't mention them.

After a couple of nice days together seeing some of the Vancouver sites round four started proper on this Tuesday. Mark got off to a slow start as he didn't feel too well on the second day but with the help of some anti-nauseous pills the last couple of days have been pretty good. I think the work on his jab and weave after round three has helped with round four as well. We're hoping Mark will be discharged on Sunday in good time for his friend Shawn's visit on Wednesday. Mark and Shawn plan on doing some fishing
near Vancouver between rounds and I wouldn't be surprised if Meghan joined them at some point as well.

It is relieving to see that Mark and Meg are well looked after here Vancouver. The facilities and care are excellent and they have a great apartment close to the cancer agency that is incredibly convenient. It is a lousy situation but at least they have an excellent setup at the BCCA and easy access to most everything they need.

Keep Smashing!

Seamus

Thanksgiving Dinner




















Commence Smashing.
Biohazard Mark!

Things to be thankful for. . .

#1 Our trip to Whitehorse.

  Going home for a week was a well needed boost for mind, body, and soul. We managed to hit my favourite week of the year while we were there. Fall lasts about three weeks in the Yukon, and we were there for its very peak. Light seemed to shine from inside the aspen leaves and the air seemed full of health itself. It was a busy week, with a full day of job interviews, a three day trip into the bush and an overnighter in hospital for me, and a week full of house organization, visiting, and nursing for Meg. The job interviews were challenging, but a nice way to concentrate on the future. My hunting trip with friends Shawn, Pete, and Simon was a return to normalcy that was really the highlight of my last couple of months: we got to watch a young girzzly defending a gutpile, saw a trophy elk, and got to really breathe in the essence of a place that I was wondering when I would see next. The boys treated me (necessarily) like the old man at camp, basically putting a blanket and a rifle across my knees and fighting with eachother to help me out as much as they could. No moose was to be had, but was that really the point this time around?  We spent three days at Mayo Lake in Northern Yukon at Shawn's trapping cabin, and I felt more at home than I have in months. My final night on the Lake, Shawn treated me to a "bush hot tub". With the waves pounding on the beach below, Shawn built a hot fire under an elevated cast iron tub that he keeps for the purpose. I spent a good hour sipping a "near beer" under a dark sky, soaking in the health of the previous days. Getting back to Whitehorse was a bit of a shock back to reality, since my Vancouver oncologist had contacted Meg asking us to get to the hospital for some intravenous hydration. My second round of chemo was for some reason pretty hard on my kidneys, and keeping well hydrated has become essential to my recovery from the treatments. After an overnight stay in hospital receiving saline solution, I got to spend our final day in Whitehorse at home, visiting briefly with some friends, and getting ready for our return to Vancouver. As our plane took off from the Whitehorse airport, and the sun hit the aspens one last time, it became clear that we weren't yet finished on the road that's been laid out before us. We hope to go back for another visit in early November, shortly before doctors won't allow Meg (at 8 months pregnant then) to fly.

 
Simon listening for the elusive beast. . . 

 
Mayo Lake on a still day

 
The boys glassing a hillside 

 
The cabin

 
The Yukon hot tub (the plywood protects yer butt from the heat!)

#2 The return of my appetite.

 I'm not going to lie to you here. My last two rounds of chemo have been rough compared to my first one, and unfortunately, seem to be getting progressively so. We're hoping to prove that trend wrong this coming Tuesday. As Meg mentioned in her last post, eating and drinking became somewhat of a chore during round three, and it was hard for her and my parents to watch me turn my head away from bowl after plate after mug of food and drink. We got through it OK, and my appetite is now back. Today is my first day of feeling relatively OK since treatment, and although we were considering a trip to Victoria to visit friends for Thanksgiving, in the end, we decided a restful weekend here in Vancouver might be a better idea. My parents were here for about a week, and it was good for them to see what my treatments look like, despite the appetite struggles and some general malaise on my part.

#3 Our support system.

 It seems we are never alone here on this road. My parents took over from Meg's last week, and were a great help to Meg and I while we stayed at the BCCA. It's always great to have people around who want to do whatever they can to make things easier. Our trip to Whitehorse also reminded us of the work that all of our friends and neighbours are doing up there for us, and we continue to receive love and support from our world in the form of emails, blog comments, cards, and packages every day. We also continue to feel your thoughts and prayers, good vibes, and of course, that kicking baby. Meg's brother Seamus is the latest supporter to make the journey here (all the way from the UK), and he'll be spending the week with us here while I undergo my fourth cycle of treatment.

My parents on a day out

#4 Shrinking tumours.

  It looks like my treatments are working - it's difficult to say how well until we get the results from my most recent and detailed MRI which happened on Friday - but it looks like the Methotrexate is doing a good smashy job. Some tumours appear to have disappeared, others are getting smaller, and some look like they've stayed relatively stable. We'll get to those in the next few rounds (tell your friends, tumours. . .)

#5 A healthy, loving wife and baby.

  The doctor says Meg's pregnancy is "textbook". All measurements and tests are about as normal as they can be, and Meg is feeling great. The baby is moving around like crazy, and I get to feel little kicks and punches and waves hello every day. For both of us, the realization came this week that Meg will at some point relatively soon become pretty uncomfortable. The focus has been so squarely on me for the past little while that sometimes we forget that we will soon become a pair of patients. Christmas should be interesting. Until then though,  I can't say enough how well Meg has taken care of me. It can't be easy watching someone you love in this situation, but like with most things, Meg has handled this with grace, humour, and beautiful strength. She makes me meals, keeps track of my medications, stands up to my doctors, wrangles guests, takes care of "real world" business, schedules appointments, makes sure that I get out and exercise, and does it all with glowing love, uncharacertistic patience, and a crackling wit that still never lets me take myself too seriously. I'm a lucky man.  

She treats me right. . . 

All in all, we've settled into some kind of treatment routine: one week in, one week out, with some appointments scattered throughout. As I've said, I seem to be feeling a bit worse as time goes on, but here's hoping that that plateaus sometime soon. We hope everyone enjoys their Thanksgivings wherever they may be, and know that we'll be thinking of you here in (still balmy) Vancouver. Love the people you're with.

The Vicious Cycle

Some of the deliciousness awaiting Mark, I only give them
to one at a time in hopes they will seem more appetizing.

So, when you feel so poorly, that eating and drinking is a big struggle and at times impossible... but you know that you need to eat and drink to feel better - what do you do? Also, when you are the wife of someone who has basically stopped consuming, and you know consuming is super important for healing - how do you push enough to encourage, but not so much that you are a nag?
These are the questions we are struggling with on round 3 of Chemo. Who would have ever thought that watching Mark eat 10 grapes would be cause for celebration? Since for 8.5 years before now he has finished the food off of my plate before heading to the kitchen for thirds, certainly not I.
So far we have tried water, carbonated water, water with lemon, a variety of teas, smoothies, ginger ale, and homemade energy drinks. For snacks: arrowroots, oats, applesauce, fruits, yogurt, soups, noodles, toast, crackers, and more I am sure. If anyone has any other magic suggestions - please send them my way.
This round has carried out much the same as the last as far as levels and kidney functioning goes. It has looked a bit different because Mark is sleeping a lot more and is struggling with food and beverage intake so much. This is all very reasonable and not too concerning to the doctors and nurses who have seen it so many times before. It sounds like his appetite will come back to him at some time between treatments - but it gets a bit tricky now that we are basically one week in hospital, one week out.
Mark had a CT scan and a MRI this week and both had good results. They were not able to use contrast dye for either test because of Mark's kidney levels, and the "before" tests they are comparing the results with did use dye, so it is a bit tricky. Our oncologist let us know the tumours are shrinking and she liked what she was seeing in the scans. She wants to do one more MRI when Mark is better able to take the dye (apologies to those of you who have had to wait 6 months to get your knees MRIed, 3 in a month hardly seems fair - also, thanks for paying your taxes everyone, I've never loved Canada so much).
Basically things are going as they should be and we haven't really had any unpleasant suprises. We have learned that this is what we are hoping for. Overall, it feels like things are going pretty well. We have a very thorough doctor (a self-described "obsessive compulsive"), Mark is not experiencing anything that is unreasonable under the circumstances, I am sleeping and eating well and am back to knitting, which means we have returned to some level of normalcy. Our moods are good, although there is admittedly a bit of a drop off of cheeriness towards the end of our time in hospital. We try to keep the "why don't you try this?", "why don't you back off?" dialogue light and that works (for the most part). The thing is, our good life is worth putting up with all of this bad stuff anyhow, and it is pretty easy to keep that perspective.

Since I am short of photos right now, I thought I would show what it is like where we are at.

Here's the view from the balcony and some of the rooms here. Vancouver is amazing.

This is the balcony that our room looks out on, it's large and handy to have.

Here is the family room which is also great to have access to. It has been all cleared out as part of preparations for H1N1, a bit of a sad reminder of the flu season ahead.