Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas. All is peaceful here, and we hope the same is true for you.

M&M&H

check and check

We just returned from a trip to Vancouver where an MRI and visit with some doctors confirmed Mark's good health. Cancer has stayed smashed. It was the news we were expecting since he has been feeling so strong physically, but there was certainly a calm relief that came with the confirmation.
We were able to visit with some cherished Vancouver folks and get in some good eating, so all in all it was a very good trip.
It feels like winter here now, not quite snow but it is cold and the toques and mitts have migrated from the basement to the front hall. It has been a very busy fall and these next few weeks will hopefully be a bit of a reprieve, then we are off on vacation and going to a friends wedding in the Dominican Republic. Should be amazing.
Hadley is doing great, she really is a happy not so little thing. Since it's been a while - here and here are the 'best of' photos from the past few months.
We hope all is well with all of you. We will pass on the news as it trickles in . . .

Happy Halloween! Hadley was a chicken, and greeting all the trick-or-treaters with enthusiastic waves.

Fall

Here's a couple of quick shots to clear my conscience. We are bad bloggers. We are well, and happy and really enjoying the fall. It is busy, and sometimes too busy - but that seems to be the case for everyone we know. Hadley is continues to shine. Here's proof.

Hadley and I after the Terry Fox walk

The love is mutual that's for sure

On top of our wood pile

That about says it all

One year later

The strawberry seems like so long ago, probably because it was. There have been many veggies since then, as well as trips and events and new Hadley skills. We never really planned to have a blog about our normal life and since that is what we mostly have now-a-days, updating seems sort of strange.
In short Mark is feeling terrific and is going on a mountain sheep hunt next week (that's really hard work and is quite an accomplishment since exactly one year ago he was recovering from brain surgery). Hadley is approaching crawling, is eating breakfast lunch and dinner from a spoon and is having a great summer. I had a great trip to visit family in Ontario and am really enjoying my day to day existence as a housewife and ma.
It has officially been one year since this whole deal-io began, which is unbelievable. Makes us shake our heads.

Another Birth Announcement

Some very exciting news around these parts. Mark and I gave birth again . . . to a strawberry!!!


This is our first harvest and needless to say, we are more than excited. We celebrated by (gently) cutting the berry in four and sharing it with his folks who were up visiting. What a treat.


The rest of the gardening is going well, we have lots of tomatoes (they are green still but they are real live tomatoes growing at our house), and almost all of our veggies have sprouted (come on potatoes and carrots). We are certainly newbie gardeners, as was likely apparent to our neighbours when shrieks of joy followed by high fives and hugs could be heard and witnessed as we found our first seed had turned into a sprout. I guess you do appreciate all the small things post cancer. Here is Hadley helping her dad plant some beets.


We finally got out into the bush for a few days and it was amazing. Mostly because we took this

to here

where the view from our window was this.

We stayed at a cabin that is maintained by Mark's work and free for public use, what a place this Yukon is.

There was lots of this

and this happening.

And it turns out this one is a real camper.

(note to self, bring something to set your child on so that you will not have to turn a wood box into a chair)

A big thanks to the Callans for a great visit (and for not smuggling Hadley back in their luggage which they threatened they might) (there was a point when I was wondering if they were serious).

So, we continue to be well and happy and loving life. For those who want to see some more Hadley you can do so here. Also, a shout out to great friend, loyal reader and encourager of more posts - Mrs. Keri Jo (this one is for you).

No News is Good News.

Not too sure where to go from here with this blog. We are happy to show off pictures of Hadley and tell you about the mundane details of our ordinary life. The truth is, it is very exciting to have an ordinary life these days. It is exactly what we were hoping for. However, it doesn't make for interesting or compelling reading. I suppose we will just keep doing periodic updates and you can check in as much or little as you like.
The cancer update is . . . We are going to Vancouver for our next check up in October. The docs liked what they saw last time and for our own sanity we have moved from three month check ups to six month check ups. The weeks and days leading up to those appointments are fairly tortuous, and we are happy to have a break from them for a while. Mark is feeling really well overall. He is back at work now which is very exciting and it really felt like a big deal when it happened. I was like a proud mama with his lunch made and camera ready the morning of. It really is an accomplishment. He is starting part time and is increasing his hours every week, it seems like it won't be too long before he is going full time. Fatigue is still an issue and finding balance with work, play and rest is something we discuss daily. What we notice most is that his recovery time is shorter and shorter. It seems now like a good night's sleep usually means a fresh start for energy. His hair is back, it is a darker, (as in black) more 'textured' (to put it kindly) version of the hair he once had. He is is a great papa and Hadley has most certainly become a 'daddy's girl'. It is pretty fun to watch her light up when he comes home.

My smile was equally big when I was taking this photo

I am doing well. We joke about how I am a 50's housewife, and I am. Fully. I spend my days cooking, cleaning, getting our supplies, sorting the baby, tending to our gigantic garden, meeting up with friends, and generally making house. It is very satisfying except when it isn't. My sister Brianna came for a visit with her baby and that was fantastic. I have started a campaign to have our families move to Whitehorse (so far no takers) but it really is the only missing piece to this beautiful place. Summer has arrived here and we are spending as much time as possible outside. Hadley had her first trip in a canoe (somewhat unsuccessful) and she and Carl get out on the trails as often as possible. We are having a real go at this gardening business. The learning curve is steep, but we have two wee green tomatoes on a plant in our greenhouse and we are hopeful the rest of our bounty will follow suit shortly.

Hadley and her Aunt Brianna

Hadley and her cousin Finley, 10 weeks and 10 sizes apart

Hadley continues to be a happy little creature. She is working on sitting on her own, not quite there yet. She loves to eat her toes and gum anything she can reach. She spends most of her days smiling and is still an amazing sleeper. We really like her.
So there you have it, an update on our regular ol' lives. Nothing noteworthy here!!!
To see the latest 'best of Hadley' pictures, click here.

Good News Round 2

I know, I know. We've been slacking. A lot has happened since our last post, but maybe the most important thing (other than Hadley rolling over) is that we just returned from my first 3-month checkup in Vancouver. I have been having some symptoms recently that include headaches and a strange tingling down the back of my legs. Needless to say, this caused some anxiety about my appointments, and in the days leading up to them, Meghan and I were feeling the strain. The good news is that two MRIs later (one of my head and one of my spine), I've once again been given a clean bill of health. Apparently the headaches and tingling are common side effects of radiation that can surface even 6 months after treatment. As my friend Dan said: "Headaches, eh? They did shoot a laser at your brain you know".
  It was a point well taken. It seems like in the days leading up to these checkups that every chapped lip and runny nose found some connection to cancer. But I don't have cancer anymore. We're happy that that's the case, and will wait another few months before anxiety skyrockets, and only doses of Hadley will suffice in quenching the fire of panic. But we will get by.
  If you're in Whitehorse reading this, keep in mind that we're having an Open House/BBQ on Friday, May 7th at our place at 67 Pelly Rd. in Riverdale. Anybody and everybody are welcome to show up anytime after 4:00 pm. Bring something to cook on the grill, your favorite bevvy, and we'll have some stuff to go along with that, including some extra drinks. Most importantly, bring yourselves and whoever you think might have fun. I wish everyone from across the country could come. The amount of support we've received (and continue to receive) makes me think the world can be an amazingly good place sometimes.
  I'm starting work on May 10th, and it feels like it will be a landmark day in my recovery. I hope to ease into it with some part-time hours, and, as usual, Environment Yukon has been incredibly accommodating. I'm doing some exercises to help rebuild my strength, and we're out walking every day. Meg is doing great. As usual, she's holding up her end of the deal and then some. Sometimes I wonder how she can be holding Hadley, making dinner, washing dishes, unpacking boxes and talking on the phone all at the same time, but she does it. I'm starting to hold up my end of things a little more too.

  Hadley is the happiness of our everyday. Antidote to sadness, anxiety, fear, she's a little gem who's smile is too contagious to resist. If you want to see a bit more of her, you can do so here.

 And this sums up our current 3 month cycle pretty well. (Click the "play" icon on the page to hear it).

All the best to all of you.
M&M

Home

 It's where I want to be. But I guess I'm already there.

  Being back in Whitehorse has seen a swirl of activity, emotion, and a well-needed feeling of normalcy. It feels like we're almost there in terms of picking up the pieces of our life and re-assembling them into something  that resembles what we've been striving towards. It looks different somehow than what we thought it once would be - things will always be different after this experience (which is ongoing, and will be forever) - but it's something that still has beauty and drives us forward.
  Looking at photos from September, I realize that things have changed. Some forever, and some just for a little while. Six months ago, I was still glowing with the vitality and life that a summer in the Yukon nourishes in anybody, and now, I'm a paler, skinnier version of that person, with a little less shine around the eyes and a little more on his mind (albeit less on his brain!). But these things can come back. A few push ups and lunges, a jog a few times a week, getting back to work, a few days out on a Yukon lake, a few minutes making Hadley laugh or Meg smile; all good medicine for getting back to life. Some things are changed forever, and no exercise or experience will revive them. They are gone. But such is life. What these things are is less easy to describe, but there's a hole somewhere in the both of us that will never be filled again.
  This became ardently clear yesterday when we sat in the same sort of sterile, cold office that we've grown used to over the past several months, and watched as a vet injected our sedated cat with an overdose of anaesthetic. Her heart stopped soon after, and she passed over the line of life and death, whatever that looks like. For the past week, she had been suffering from Feline Fatty Liver Disease, and despite the vet's and our efforts, she wasn't getting any better. As a hunter, I've shot and killed animals and watched them die before, and it's sad,  but our experience yesterday was something very different. It belonged in those holes that will never be filled again.  It sounds more dramatic than losing a pet cat. But that's what's changed.
   It's been a dramatic few months, with family weddings, a couple of moves, a new house  new jobs, new lives, losing loved ones, creating and gaining new loved ones, and all of the stresses, joy, grief, and other emotions that go along with all of those things. And yet somehow, we're back where we started almost five years ago. Home. It's where we want to be.

Kitty. She was a cat. A good one.

  

For grandparents, aunts, uncles, and other interested parties, Hadley's continued growth can be witnessed here.

For those of you that knew and loved Kitty (if you knew her, you loved her), you can go here.

And now, David Byrne and friends:

Whitehorse

We're home... kind of. We landed back in Whitehorse just under two weeks ago and it feels fantastic to be breathing the air up here. Somehow, the two backpacks of stuff we brought down with us in August turned into a car load (driven up in our car by my brother in law Mr. Craig Adkins - kudos), 500 lbs of boxes (shipped up after being packed by dearest Becky/life organizer extraordinaire), and five suitcases (flown up with Mark, Hadley in I in what can only be described as a complete gong show at the airport). We spent a couple of days in our house before moving to a house-sit while some amazing folks (team Ontario, headed by brother-in-law Graham, with Mark Delaney and Derek Nussey) who had very generously offered to help reno our place from a house to a home got down to business. We are admittedly disheveled, we have not unpacked anything so the three of us are temporarily getting by in one of two outfits and little else. It is very much worth it though because each day when I visit the house, I am pumped at how it is being transformed. I can barely wait to move back in at the end of the week, unpack three and a half years worth of our life, get rid of everything we don't need but have hauled all over the country and start fresh. I am excited just typing the words.
Mark is doing really well. He is gaining strength every day, has almost eliminated the afternoon nap and is even able to do some physical labour. He is starting a bit of a rehab routine this week to get him back in tip top shape and put the physical detriments of all things cancer behind him. Also, his hair is starting to grow back. It is a little chia pet like yet, but the growing parts are definitely spreading.
Hadley continues to be a rock star, still sleeping through the night and spending most parts of the day smiling and charming those around her. Right now the best thing about her is her talking voice that is developing and her laugh that both she and I are figuring out how to unleash. Her worst quality... her loath of mittens - and her ears are still hairy, how long does that last?
The reunion with Carl was great. In the end he didn't reject us and was more that happy to see us. There was some crying and some leaking (those who know Carl know what that means). He and Hadley are alright with one another, not lovers not fighters. The cat is still staying with our friends Deb and Pete until our house is finished. That's likely best for everyone - when she is unsettled, everyone around her pays the price.
There have been some other noteworthy events for us. It seems it wouldn't be a blog posting without announcing that Hadley has a new cousin. My brother Seamus and his wife Hye Kyoung had a super cute little girl on March 2nd. Please meet Hannah McGuire. It's awesome. Some other not so awesome news is that on March 18, my Grandma, Beth Smith, passed away. It was peaceful and she was with all of her children and her lovely husband. My Grandma was an amazing woman, I feel lucky to have had her in my life for as long as I did. She has had a huge impact on both Mark and I and we hope to raise our daughter up to be the same sort of citizen she is.
I will leave you with a few photos, none too recent since the camera cord is somewhere buried in an unpacked box. Goodbye!

Our niece Hannah McGuire - a serious competitor for cutest baby

Hadley - all business.
My Grandma crocheted that blanket for our wedding, we bring it everywhere

Grandpa Jack and Grandma Beth

An update

It has been a while and now I keep putting off an update because I need a chunk of time to do it. Well, that hasn't happened and I don't have a chunk right now so this wee post will have to do until there is a bit more time.
We have our lives back now that the Olympics are over. Made it to some events and missed very few on t.v. Our free time before heading home was interrupted when Mark became quite sick and needed to go back into hospital for a bit. His white blood cell count became very low (like 0 low), and he got a brutal cold as a result. After some new medication, serious anti-biotics, hydration and a med change he is on the road to recovery and was released from hospital on Saturday. He is still far from 100% but is moving in the right direction at least.
We are planning to return to Whitehorse on March 8th and are mostly looking forward to it. The packing and planning that we need to think of for March (we have a home reno team arriving mid-March to help us get the house fixed up) is daunting and at times overwhelming, but there is sunshine on the other side and we are more than excited to be leaving the city for home. My friend Becky has landed in here to offer support and help with packing, it was amazing to have her here while Mark was in hospital and now that he is home and she is getting lots done it is even better.
That's the short and skinny, I will try to provide more details when I have more time. Here's a quickie of how cute Hadley is these days, sorry to the parents who were (previously) pretty sure they had the cutest baby in the world. Hope you are all well.

We're Back

So we are back in busy Vancouver after the retreat. The retreat was... deep. It ended up being a retreat from retreating from dealing with the emotional impact of all that has happened in the last six months. We were both hit pretty hard but it was an important and healthy week. We met some amazing people and were so well cared for by the facilitators. It really was a five star experience.

Here is the main lodge.
Here is the view from our cottage.

Here is what one of the meals looked like (the food was out of this world).

Here is our nanny for the week who was amazing to have with us. Sarah is the best for those of you who don't already know it.

Hadley was a super star the whole week and continues to be now that we are at home. Pardon me for braging... Hadley has slept between 5 and 7.5 hours every night for the past three weeks (or almost half her life - which ever sounds more impressive). Here is a link to some more photos for those interested.

Here is Hadley reminding us that everything is going to be "O.K."

Mark is doing alright. His fatigue that we thought was getting better came back with a vengeance, and so he has been laying low since we returned. We are starting to think about returning to Whitehorse which is both exciting and overwhelming. We have been living in a bit of a bubble - or a lot of a bubble since this whole adventure began. It is going to be an interesting time as we begin to reemerge. If you are expecting anything from us this next while, please be patient... and understanding.

We have some pretty excellent things planned for our remaining time in Vancouver. Mark and I are headed to some short track speed skating this afternoon (if you are looking for us, we will be the ones with an obstructed view in the cheap seats... having a blast). On Thursday we are going to some Neil Young tribute (yes, I love Mark that much). On Friday, Shannon (my sister who tagged off with Sarah as our next helper) and I are going to see ski jumping and cross country skiing. We are also hoping to catch a live taping to Stephen Colbert and have tickets to curling next week. It has been great to be in Vancouver during the Olympics. Shannon and I were wandering around downtown today in a sea of red and white and I am filled with national pride. For every minute we are not out at an event or doctors appointment we will be sitting on our couch watching the Olympics. Go Canada.

In other mega newsworthy events, Mark and I have a new nephew! Mr Hunter Hamilton D'Arcy Callan was born yesterday morning. A giant congratulations to Shawn and Karla. This means a trip to Ontario is certainly in our near future. Hadley now has six cousins to rumble with and a seventh will be coming within a month.

My Parents... and other stuff

I want to do a quick post of gratitude to my mom and dad extraordinaire. They returned to Ontario yesterday after almost two months of being our cooks, cleaners, errand runners, babysitters, planners and all around support people. It feels like an incredible privilege to have two people ready and willing to give up two months of their lives to help us an any way they could think of. And help us they did. I am not sure how or if we would have been able to make it through the difficult parts of the past while without them. Yet again, thank you is not enough - but thank you. We love you, and so does Hadley.

Grandparenting - a job they do well.

After 'the last supper' on Tuesday night.

We are doing well, letting our recent amazing news settle in. It can be difficult to believe at times, we are both so used to being tense and somewhat anxious, it turns out that doesn't stop overnight. The days leading up to Monday were some of the most difficult we have ever experienced, it will take a bit of time to transition out of that place - but we are getting there. One of the biggest differences I notice is how it used to be so unpleasant when we were doing something normal and we would suddenly remember that we are in Vancouver because Mark has brain cancer. Now, it is an incredible feeling to be carrying along with an everyday task and remember 'oh yeah, there's no tumors anymore'. It brings a happiness and calm that is difficult to describe. That said, it isn't over and while we can truly enjoy this time - I know we will enjoy drinking a bottle of Dom Perignon (thanks Biggar) on February 1, 2012 (our two years clear date) that much more.

Tomorrow Sarah is arriving again to join us on a young adult cancer retreat. She will be coming to give us a hand with Hadley so that Mark and I can participate together in the retreat. We are both really looking forward to getting out of town for a bit and to learn about how we deal with the uncertainty that awaits us in this next phase. Plus the food is supposed to be amazing. We leave on Saturday and get back on Friday, which is opening ceremonies day. We are going to take in some Olympic festivities, have some final doctor's appointments and hope to make our way home in the beginning of March. It will be nice to get a small taste of winter - there are flowers blooming here already.

Hadley continues to be awesome. She is a happy little creature and is easy to please with the exception of the hours of 10pm-12am. We spend an embarrassing amount of time staring at her and making ridiculous faces and sounds in an effort to see a wee smile. Luckily she is giving them out with less discretion these days - she is still stealthy enough that it is difficult to get one on camera. Here is a glimpse.

If you look closely enough, you can see two heads reflected in her eyes - thankfully for us there is no audio accompanying this photo.

A nice father daughter shot.

Finally, I really want to thank everyone for following along and giving us messages of support this past week. Your emails, comments and phone calls make us feel powerful and loved. It is amazing to have you all with us on this. Cheers!

SMASHED!!! for now. . .

We just got back from our appointment with our oncologist and my MRI showed no remaining signs of disease! It's gone! The words now are still "cautious optimism" as we'll still need regular checkups to see if the cancer comes back for the next few years. But for now, we're all in the clear! We smashed that bugger with all of your help! I can't write much more right now, but thank you, thank you, thank you to all of you for all of your support. We'll keep you posted on any future plans, but for now, it looks like we'll be headed back up to Whitehorse at the end of the month sometime. More Hadley photos and other stories to come. . . . Again - thank you. We couldn't have gotten through this without you.

Much, much love . . .

M&M  

T-Minus

It's a big week for us. On Thursday, I have the MRI that will help the doctors assess how well the radiation treatments worked on the remaining disease. It will be a long weekend of waiting, and then we meet with my oncologist on Monday to get the results. It seems black and white most times, like next Monday they'll tell me either "Great, yer all done, get on with yer life" or "I'm sorry, but there's nothing more we can do". It's not really going to be like that. No matter what the MRI shows, we won't stop fighting this bugger. The best case scenario is that the MRI shows no remaining visible cancer cells, and I get periodic checkups to make sure that it hasn't come back. At one point, doctors told us that these checkups would likely be every three months, and that because of the aggressiveness of this type of lymphoma, that if it hadn't reappeared in two years, I would likely be in the clear. The worst case scenario is that the cancer has grown. We think that this is highly unlikely considering the way that I've been feeling. Even if this is the case, there are more treatment options (although no more major medical interventions that I know of right now) including alternative therapies, traditional medicine, and fly fishing in the Bahamas.  My energy level is getting better every day, and Meg and I are doing our best to get more and more exercise. Hadley keeps us on our toes, but all in all, she's a pretty easy little girl. There's almost always a reason for her crying, and fixing that reason usually stops the wailing. Having Grandma and Grandpa McGuire out here for relief sure helps too.
  Some days are better than others, but on the whole Meg and I are doing well. Dealing with uncertainty will be a skill we'll need to hone over the next little while, but we help each other out, and of course all of your support helps more than you can know. And then there's Hadley. . . I'll leave you with a couple of samples of how she makes every day brighter, and if you're really interested, you can see more here. Have a great week.
We'll let you know about our results when we do.

 

 

 

 

2 weeks old

Hi there. Taking care of a brand new human being takes up a lot of time (somehow), especially if you're the person providing the food, and even more so when dad needs to sleep almost as much as baby. So that's been our story for the last couple of weeks. My family has all gone home, and we think and hope that they got enough quality time with Hadley while they were here. We certainly had some great times together, and it was definitely a Christmas that we'll never forget. Meghan's parents will be here for the next few weeks to help us get through this initial time where my energy levels are low, Hadley's needs are high, and the learning curve is fairly steep. We're thankful for that. We're also thankful to all of you who have sent your well wishes and thoughts and for all of the cute little baby things we've received. We've posted some photos of Hadley and her family online here so as not to overwhelm the blog with parental pride. Peruse at your leisure. Here are a couple of highlights for those of you who don't need to look at 50 photos and videos of someone else's baby:

 

 

  So we're now in a waiting period in terms of my treatment. We're waiting for an MRI at the end of the month and the results that we'll get from our oncologist on February 1. We'll see what happens there. More on that maybe in the next post. We hope you are all having a great 2010 so far. We're really enjoying Hadley, and are taking her on her first road trip today as we escape the city for Whistler for a couple of days. Thanks again for all of the love sent our way.

M&M

Day 4

Hadley, Meg and I are doing great. Here's a nice little video from the first hour of our little girl's sweet short life so far. Enjoy. And here's a link to a Whitehorse Star story about Hadley's birth. Happy New Year!

M&M

Holy Crap, We've Got a Baby!

Be careful everyone, because this:

Can lead to this:

 

     Hadley Beth Callan was born 7 lbs. 14 oz. at 12:50 pm on December 27th, 2009 after 42 hours of labour! Meg started getting contractions about 10 minutes apart just after Christmas dinner, and her water broke at 10:30 pm on Boxing Day. Labour was long, but Mom, Dad, and baby were all healthy and relatively happy throughout. There were no really tough decisions to make or stressful times. Our doula Jacquie Munro was a lifesaver, our nurses Sandra and Hazel were fantastic, and the delivering doctor Dr. Wilson was just perfect for us. We're getting discharged from the hospital today by our own doctor, Dr. Linekin, and will be heading back to our apartment to settle in. Hadley will be surrounded by love with mom and dad, all four grandparents, and Uncle Mike and Auntie Liz taking turns. We can't wait to introduce her to the rest of the family and all of you sometime soon. We picked "Hadley" mostly because we loved the sound of the name. Coincidentally, it was also the name of Ernest Hemingway's first wife. The middle name Beth comes from Meghan's Grandmother - a powerful woman who means a lot to the both of us. Hadley will be wearing a sweater that she knit for the McGuire kids almost 40 years ago home from the hospital. It was a lot of fun to fill Great-Grandpa Jack and Great-Grandma Beth in on the news yesterday - 62 years of marriage and still going strong! Thanks to all of you for all of the good energy sent our way this past little while. It worked! Here's some evidence:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Have a great New Year's, and we'll keep you posted with any news. . .

M&M